The next morning, Jean came to see me right after breakfast, she was in civilian clothes this time, a simple green wool dress. Her blonde hair was held back by a ribbon, and she looked radiant and cheerful. She came over, smiled and sat down on a chair by the side of the bed. My strength had returned and I was able to sit up as she talked with me.
She was about to start telling me about the operation ahead if I chose it and I stopped her. She looked hurt, until I explained that I had al- ready made my decision and that I would like to talk to the command- er. I suppose that my silence and refusal to let her do her job was slightly sadistic, but I just felt like hurting someone and swore to make their job as difficult as I possibly could.
In a few minutes Jean returned with commander Upton.
“Well, Lt. Jean says that you don't seem to want our help. At least I wish that you would give her a chance to talk about it."
"No Commander it isn't that," I replied, "It's something like basic training. If you know what its all about you'd be too afraid to go there. I'll accept the operation, and try the change."
"I'm happy that you have reached that decision, the rest is all down- hill from here on. I'll get the right forms prepared, and notify the doctor to arrange a date. But Jean must play a crucial part in this and I want you two to be good friends. You have a lot ahead of you and so much of it is going to be discouraging. Its the same operation we give to the men that want to change their sex, and Japan is one of the places that they come to, but with you and the other cases that we have had, there is a tremendous emotional strain and mental rebuilding process, since even if you accept this on the surface, your subconscious doesn't want it." "Jean will be your almost constant companion until we feel that you are ready to face the world by yourself, and much of the ther- apy can never be done in a hospital!"
"Doctor, what's going to happen if this isn't successful. What will I be then, a complete reject, a freak, good only to get a job in the circus, as the amazing half man-half woman?"
The doctor laughed, and then said seriously, “Jim, we've never had a failure in this program. I don't think that we'll have one now, I just hope that you'll give us your complete co-operation, and you'll leave here a happy smiling, girl."
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